My Greatest Life Lessons by Alfreda Rusk

On Thursday, May 24, 2012, my Grandmother, Alfreda Rusk, turned 91 years old.  I've been fortunate to spend the last three (3) birthdays with her.  Although born in Cedarville, IL and raised in the Midwest, she and my Grandfather settled in South Carolina in 1985.  Shortly after, the rest of my family (father's side) moved up, as well. 

There are many incredible things about Mimi.  She's a wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, great great grandmother.  She started going with my Grandfather in the summer of 1937. He wanted to get married right away, but Mimi wasn't having it.  She needed her time. So, from 1939-1940, she was a Harvey Girl. 

Eventually, my Grampa wore her down.  They married in February of 1941 and had three kids, my Aunt Nancy, My Dad and my Uncle Dan.

There are stories, places, people and so many things in between.  But today, I asked her to give me her biggest life lessons.  Here they are:

• The success you have or what you accomplish is based on persistence.
• Success also depends on cooperation.  Cooperation with your spouse, children, boss, etc.
• Be satisfied with you who you are and enlarge on that.
• Genuine relationships may be few, but they are extremely important.
• Take joy in the simple things.
• Pursuing nature brings great joy. 
• Look for the good in others.

Today is September 11th

 Today is September 11th: This post is atypical of what I usually write about, but seeing it's an event that cannot be ignored, I have to mention it. Today is the ten...

(Credit: http://thebitchywaiter.blogspot.com/)

I Miss You

Today is Palm Sunday.  I didn't go to church, I didn't really do much of anything. I slept late, and am doing a marathon of "An Idiot Abroad" which was built up on my DVR.  Man, do I love to laugh, and Karl Pilkington was the man to do that today!

What a whirlwind 6 months it's been;  career transition, learning to give myself a break for not always having the energy to say 'yes' to everyone ALL THE TIME, learning about being a Virtual Assistant, learning about me.

Did you notice the 'learning about me' came last?

Yeah, me too.

I miss you.  Who am I talking to?  I'm talking to you.  A few years ago, before Facebook, I remember saying to several people around me, "You know, we've never had more means of staying in touch; cell phones, email, wireless Internet, etc..  Yet, I find it so interesting that we've never been so far apart."

Look at our communication now that Facebook and social media have come on the scene.  We manage to track each other, see what we're doing, what we're buying, what we're eating, how we're feeling...but we're not really asking the question, "So, what's going on?  How are you?"

Don't get me wrong; I am a social media junkie.  

But it's made me lazy.  Lazy about my relationships.  And that makes the world go 'round.  I don't know about you, but my resume and bank account don't keep me warm on a cold night.

Remember the days of "Toma's Christmas Letter"?  So many of you tell me how much it means/meant to you.  This past Christmas (given my 'transitional' state), I said to myself, "Nah, I'm not going to send one - I don't want to bring anybody down. I don't have anything exciting to say."  Even though, I really had VERY LITTLE to complain about.  MORE THAN THAT, though, I just didn't feel it was necessary because I update everyone, all the time, and the information is instant.

How about your email in-box?  Who's piled up with emails that need a reply?  Who's exhausted at the thought of simply replying to an email?  Show of hands?  Anyone?

I miss you.

"Why today, Toma?"

I had to re-format my iPhone, and I have an application that links my address book to your Facebook profile, so I can see your pretty face when you call me.  Because I was doing a big overhaul, part of that was manually checking all of my contacts, one-by-one.

I started making a list of "Oh, I need to call her." or "Wonder what THEY are up to?" Then I just lost track.

It was too overwhelming.

Blessing and a curse?  Sure.  But I'm going to change my vocabulary.  

Today.

Blessing and a CHOICE.  We choose to take the time/make the time to keep in touch with each other.  To reach out - and - HAVE NO REASON but just to say "Hey, whassup?" 

And I have been making crummy choices.

If you'd like to know what's happening with me, I'll take the easy way out and give you a quick wrap-up of life as Toma.  But really, check out Facebook, and you'll find out that I just walked for MS and that my baby brother & my niece remind me that with or without MS, I'm still the best big sister and Aunt in the universe.

Since 1 November, I have:

-Quit my job

-Started my own gig

-Realized the following two key things:

• I only need three things in life: raise Kayla, pay my mortgage and feed my dog.  In that order. I don't need any more STUFF! As my want for material things in life decreases...my happiness increases. 
• I don't always have to be the boss or make the decisions to be successful.

-Attended The Landmark Forum and highly recommend it; it'll blow you away how easy it is to free up some space and create new things

-One thing that hasn't changed?  My utter adoration for my family and friends (who, in my world, are one in the same - my 'tribe').  

My grandmother, Alfreda Leona LaBorde Rusk, turns 90 years old on 24 May 2011, and she's coming to Florida next week.  She's going to see my house for the very first time.  She's the woman I look to when I want to hear no-nonsense TRUTH, and the matriarch of my family.  Sure, is she set in her ways, stubborn and crabby?  Absolutely.

But you don't get to be 90 years old with a husband of 65+ years (God rest you, Grampa Rusk), 3 children, 4 grandchildren, and 7 great-grandchildren by being on Facebook.

Surprising Mimi in SC for her 88th Birthday

Mimi and her 4 Grandkids

So, what's new with you? 

Dare you to call me.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Circle" by Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians

Anyone seen my Palmolive?

“Your good friend has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.”



I detested those women; the women (a few years ago) that constantly referred to their lives as a Sex and the City episode.  More than that....the women that bought the "I'm a Carrie" or "I'm a Charlotte" tee shirts?

Come on now.

But tonight.  Ahhhh, tonight.  I was a full-on Miranda. I'm specifically speaking of the episode where Miranda was having a love affair with her chocolate cake; she couldn't stop eating it, so she threw it in the garbage. Then, she found herself eating it out of the top of the garbage can, so she squeezed Palmolive on it, so she wouldn't eat it anymore.

The crazy meter is pegged.  Full tilt red.

If you've never seen Sex and the City, then you should just skip this post, because the irony will not strike and my tales of embarrassment will not be nearly as funny as if you haven't seen this particular episode.

Today, I had the most perfect Saturday I've had in a long time.  I met a new client (and closed the deal! Yay, me! Yay, TaskOutToma.com!) in the Gables, came home and spent a few hours at the pool with my neighbors, then settled in bed for a few hours of American-Idol-catching-up-Facebooking-built-in-with-a-little work.  

Earlier today, as I packed my cooler for the pool, I threw in some pretzel M & Ms.  New favorite obsession, and since I allow myself very little in the way of sweets (nor am I a big fan of chocolate), it was a treat to have it at the pool.  Whatever, it's dumb, but that's me.  I like my chocolate cold, so I put the package in the cooler.  The end.

Well, I didn't eat them at the pool.  I saved them for later, emptied the cooler, sat the M&Ms on the kitchen counter and went on with my evening.

As with all temptation, you always reach for it at the EXACT TIME you're not supposed to, right?  It's nearly 10pm, wayyyyyyy past the food cutoff time (8pm for me, usually), and ABSOLUTELY not the time for chocolate! I head to the kitchen to give Chester his before-bed treat and what do I reach for?

Not a glass of water. 

Back to the boudoir (I don't normally work in bed, unless it's a weekend, then I just do a few 'catch up' things), and go to finish up the last of my work and I open up my M&Ms to enjoy them while I finished.

I open up the bag, reach in for (what had planned to be) a yummy mouthful of pretzely-choco goodness.  As I'm reaching into the bag, I'm tilting it, ever-so-slightly and it feels a little on the damp side....when all of a sudden...

Watery chocolate.

All over me, all over my face (oh yes, I didn't actually 'believe' the bag was full of water from the cooler, so I decided to throw 'er down the hatch, anyway), all over my hands, all over my CALVIN KLEIN DUVET COVER BEDDING....everywhere.

I ran into the bathroom to quickly clean up the catastrophe; caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, complete with a runny chocolate chin and watery-chocolate spots and spills all over my pjs.

Pure glam.

Today, things are going to change.

For all of you who have been up and down and up and down and up and DOWWWWWWWWN the scale, SOUND OFF!  It's a time when being 'up' can certainly bring you DOWN!  You've been there.  We've all been there.

I won't let it bring me down, though.  Instead, I'm going to reach for my OxyClean stain lifter, pick up my pride, drink a big bottle of water and then....

Make use of the Planet Fitness coupon I got in the mail today.

Toma's Favorite Song Album Today: SkinnySongs - great idea, Heidi! Excellent motivation!!

My Cup Runneth Over...

Have you missed me?  I've certainly missed you - each and every one of you.  A whole lot. I realize, after moving home to Florida last year, my blog posts were few and far between.  I mean, what's a girl to do without her IIFs*?

Some of you have seen the proverbial cat running around out of the bag.  If you haven't seen that cat, I'll introduce you to her, now.

Her name is RESIGNED.  Which I did.  

I resigned my position on 1 November 2010.  At current & present time, for the FIRST TIME since 1988 (16 years old for those of you that are counting), I am (GASP!) unemployed**.

...and I can't remember a time when I've been more happy.  More thankful.  More RICHLY BLESSED.

"Toma?  What are you going to do?  Where are you going to work?  How will you pay your mortgage?  What about health insurance?"

Yes, thanks for asking. Glad you mentioned that, because I hadn't thought about that.

((insert sarcasm here))

Yes, I am certainly mindful that I am unemployed and uninsured and that I have a disease that requires medication for the rest of my life, thankyouverymuch.  I am currently seeking employment and hopeful of what is to come.

In the meantime, with my unending thanks to my baby brother, Sebastian, I have launched TaskOutToma.com, my very own venture into the world of virtual administrative assistants.

I won't bore you with how this all came about because the bottom line is only one word, three letters: GOD.  He's never late, but He's always on time.

Shortly after resigning, one day Sebastian & I were chatting about how I can continue to make money 'in the meantime'. I was/am babysitting, dogsitting, product demonstrating, etc.. However, I knew I needed to grow pay my mortgage.  In the course of a 15-minute conversation with Seb, TaskOutToma.com was born.  I bought the domain (thanks, GoDaddy!), set up an email address, added a Facebook Fan Page and had business cards printed before the end of the day.  

THEN - before the end of THAT day, before I knew what hit me, I was attending the Empowered Woman Miami Sucess Summit & Expo.

And here we are, today. I have clients. I am working. I am thankful.

And I am so excited about where this is leading!

As I was creating TaskOutToma.com and taking my first few clients, they (my clients) were extremely interested in my story.  "Why now?  Why virtual admin, Toma?  What are your dreams?"

Ok. Um.  Listen.  I have climbed Mt. Fuji, traveled all over the world and jumped out of an airplane with the Army Golden Knights.  Bucket list - CHECK.

At 38 years old, I am so richly blessed, grateful and fulfilled, my cup runs over.  Seriously.  I have no ulterior motives, no grand plans to be rich & famous and (above all) I don't need any more STUFF.

I worked for 16 years and loved every minute.  I bought a beautiful home on top of the Florida Keys.  I have my best friend, Chester, by my side every waking minute.  Today, and for the future - HONEST ABE - I just want to pay my mortgage, feed my dog and help raise my niece.  

If you don't know me, or perhaps live under a rock, my brother, Sebastian, is a single Dad to the 9-year-old love of my life, Kayla. I loved her before she even entered this world, and I can't believe how much more I fall in love with her every single day.  I want to get up, every morning, and simply try harder to be an example to her.

Below, I want to share with you an entry I wrote to my family about 7 days after I resigned. It encompasses and SPECIFICALLY points out exactly where I'm at right now.

Begin forwarded message:

From: T is for TOMA!!!
Date: November 8, 2010 1:29:13 AM EST
To: undisclosed recipients

Bcc: "Rusk Toma S."
Subject: This is What it Feels Like

Man, is God hard at work!  It's almost 130am, I SHOULD be in bed (Hi, Mom!), but I can't sleep. You'll see why.

Tomorrow morning, I have an appointment with a professional career placement service at 930. I JUST remembered that even though they have my electronic resume, I need to bring a paper resume with me.  Sure, I am hopeful that the job with the Army at USSOUTHCOM will come to fruition, however, I am covering every base and ensuring I've put myself out there, even though it's completely new and different and...well....NEW.

Not 'scary'.  Just.  New.

ANYWAY - as I was printing up, putting it in a file folder, I just never felt any sense of fear.  Not one moment.
In the background, I had my iPhone plugged into a speaker dock (of course) in my room.  As I was printing, a track called "This is What it Feels Like" came on, by a group I've loved for as long as I can remember, FFH.

After years of performing, recording & touring, in 2006, the group took a hiatus and Jeromy & his wife, Jennifer (also in FFH), moved to Cape Town, South Africa to minister a church. They returned after 6 months to begin a new season in life, which they were POSITIVE did NOT include returning to FFH.  I grew even closer to them late last year when I learned that the lead singer/husband, Jeromy, was diagnosed with MS in 2007. They pursued worship opportunities and parenthood, but just weren't sure where God was leading them.  Then, after many attempts at 'trying to find what God wanted', they quickly discovered that God was silent, for a REASON.

Jeromy & Jennifer resumed FFH, but this time, as a duo and they scaled back on their touring.  They knew God kept them where they were to raise their children and treat Jeromy's MS. This is their first record since returning.

SO...

I hear this song playing - I literally had to stop what I was doing - go in my room, hit 'pause' - finish printing, and come back and hear it, giving it my full attention.

And then, I simply said, "Thank you, Father."
I wish I could describe the resonance in the room as I heard Jeromy's voice.  

The peace.

Thank you family - for showing me His face and praying me through this time, and standing in the gap.  You are Christ to me.

MAKE SURE YOU READ THE LAST STANZA.
Then read it again.
 

He's not done with me yet!
Love you all,
Toma
xoxo

What it Feels Like (to be led)

So this is what it feels like to walk the wilderness
This is what it feels like to come undone
This is what it feels like to lose my confidence
Unsure of anything or anyone
So this is what it feels like to walk the desert sand
This is what it feels like to hear my name
To be scared to death ‘cause I’m all alone
But feel love and peace just the same

This may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
‘Cause I have never felt You as close to me 

As I do right now
So this is what it feels like to be led

So this is what it feels like to just fall apart
To be totally unglued
Find out that if I accept my brokenness
I get more of me, I get all of You

So this is what it feels like to just walk away
From everything I thought kept me safe
To depend just on you for every meal
And find that it’s better this way

*Imaginary Internet Friends, term coined courtesy of She Walks, with my thanks.  Kristy is not just an IIF, she's an IIM (Imaginary Internet Mentor).  And she doesn't even know it.

**Unemployed?  By 'THE MAN', sure.  But not without work.  AHEM.

It's No Big Deal

"Toma, when are you going to blog again?"

"Ah, well...I dunno. I just don't really have that much to say."

Baloney.

Yeah, I said it. Think of Judge Judy. Baloney. I actually have a lot to say, I just have been remiss in putting it all out there.

In June of last year, shortly after moving home to Florida, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

"WHAT? TOMA? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?!!!!"

Because it wasn't about you. Or what I was keeping from you. I had to wrap my own brain around it. It took about a year, I have MS, and it's really no big deal.

I was inspired to write this entry after reading this blog that I just 'happen' to come across through someone who DOESN'T have MS and doesn't even KNOW I have MS.

Well, now she does. Hi, Kristy!

That woman's blog entry could have been written by me. In fact, if I hadn't sent you the link above, I was tempted to copy and paste it, nearly, word-for-word, because it's like she's a fly on the wall of my life.

But this is my story - for you.

I moved home to Florida last March, as everyone knows. After 15 years of traveling and living all over the world, by the grace of God and the power of negotiation, I was offered a job as Lodging Manager at Homestead Air Reserve Base, just south of Miami, at the top of the Florida Keys. I'd been home about a month, and my Mom and Bonus Dad were outside helping me with some yard work. Shortly after we finished and they went home, I started to feel pain in my right eye, which transitioned into a MASSIVE migraine headache, accompanied by a blind spot. I thought nothing of it - only that I'd been doing yard work without eye protection and I (most likely) got something in my eye.

Over the next several days the pain didn't subside, but it didn't get worse, either. I mostly ignored it, as I was the 'new girl' in town. You can't start a new job and within 2 weeks take sick time.

Especially when you're the boss.

I let it go on for - maybe - a month. The blind spot eventually went away, but the headaches did not. I got a referral for a great family practitioner in Homestead, Dr. Linda Fagan.

Let me point out right here that I really had NO IDEA this could be MS. To be blatantly honest, I didn't even really KNOW what MS was. I just knew that my friend, Jessica, was diagnosed with it about 11 years ago, and my girlfriend's Mom, Susan, had it. I told Dr. Fagan my symptoms. She took one look in my eye and immediately sent me to the eye doctor down the street (Man, I love small towns). What she didn't tell me (so as not to freak me out), was that she feared I had MS. She told me she was concerned that I'd scratched my cornea (liar), and that I needed to go and see the eye doctor down the street - immediately. What she ALSO didn't tell me is that she'd had 3 OTHER patients, in the last few months, diagnosed with MS.

The eye doctor was an optician, Dr. Lofton. He did a physical exam, followed by an ultra sound. The result of that ultra sound?

"Toma, your optic nerve is swollen."

"Um, okay. What do you take for that?"

"No no no, Toma. It means something is 'pushing' on your optic nerve. I don't want to alarm you, but it could be anything; maybe a tumor. I suggest you see a neurologist."

"Um. Thanks?"

About a week later, still not really freaked out (I know, right? How was THAT possible? Oh right. Because I know that God's got my back. More on that, later.), I made an appointment with a neurologist at Baptist Hospital near my house, Dr. Kobetz. Dr. K concurred that my optic nerve was swollen. He did a physical-neurological exam, saw nothing abnormal. He suggested I see an OPTHAMOLOGIST, vs. the optician. "Toma, if you can stick around, I'll call my buddy on the 3rd floor right now. If he can fit you in right now, can you go?"

So, I visit his colleague, Dr. Spektor (tee hee hee...and eye doctor named 'spektor') - and again, optic neuritis. I explain to him what has happened and the circumstances leading up to my visit and he says "So, you've had an event?"

When he says 'an event', I'm thinking a banquet, right?

He does a more intense exam and concurs that there's something definitely amiss. I head back up to Dr. Kobetz (neurologist) and Dr. Spektor accompanies me so we can all 3 talk in the same room. How often does that happen in today's day and age?

So. There was chatter and medical words and terms I don't know and we-really-aren't-sure-but-we-think-it's-nothing-so-why-don't-you-have-an-MRI-just-to-be-sure.

I think my FIRST round of MRIs was somewhere like 6 of them. Two hours in the tunnel/circular coffin. 3 with contrast, 3 without. Results inconclusive but Dr. Kobetz told me he saw spots in the white matter of my brain that were called "Dawson's Fingers."

"OH! You mean like Pacey and Joey, in the Creek?"

((BLANK STARE))

"No, 'Dawson's Fingers' are most commonly found in patients with multiple sclerosis. I don't want to freak you out, but you appear very strong and faithful, so I thought it was best to be honest with you."

"Good call. What now?"

"I hate to tell you this, and it's the last thing I wanted to do, but the only REAL way I can diagnose you with /rule out MS is to do a lumbar puncture."

"What's that?"

"A spinal tap."

"Can I have drugs?"

"Absolutely."

"Awesome. Schedule it."

INSERT APPLICABLE SIDEBAR HERE: I neglected to mention this little issue to ANYONE in my family, except my brother, Sebastian. More specifically, I kept it from my mother, Suzy. God bless my mother, but she worries about what she is going to worry about. Much like a pregnancy test, you don't need to reveal the results until you're sure, right? No sense getting everyone all worked up. (BTW, a positive pregnancy test would have been great news at this point. After all, I would have had to change my name to Mary and find me a manger.)

Sorry. Back to Suz.

So - I decide I'm going to do the spinal tap and enlist the help of bestie, Tiffany Welch. Not only does my mother not handle a 'possible' diagnosis well, she does even worse in hospitals. Big 'ol gag reflex.

Unbeknownst to me, Sebastian decides that he needs to 'run it by' our Mother, so she's not COMPLETELY blindsided.

"So, Mom...Toma's going to have a spinal tap. She can't seem to get rid of that pain in her eye and the massive headache, so her doctor wants to rule out everything. She's fine, everything is fine, he just wants to rule anything out. Can you pass the potatoes?"

"Rule WHAT out?"

"Lots of things - you know, a tumor...MS...."

SHOCK
HORROR

I immediately launch into the no-I-wasn't-purposely-avoiding-telling-you-I-just-didn't-want-to-worry-you-it's-all-going-to-be-fine-please-don't-freak-out defense.

She wasn't buying what I was selling. Not even a little bit.

As the day approached, Tiff rang and told me that her schedule was throwing a monkey wrench in everything, and she wasn't able to come down and get me through it. She thinks I really need to ask my Mom. When I explain that it just isn't an option, it was then when I discovered what true sisterhood really is.

Tiff replied with, "I'll call your Mother."

For some reason, when you hear it from people that don't have your blood running through theirs, the news just doesn't seem to be as bad.

From what I 'understood' the spinal tap, itself, was relatively easy and I'd be sedated. However, the recovery could be very lengthy, if you didn't follow the doctor's instructions TO THE LETTER. Well, since I believed I could put God in a box and do His work for Him, I was fully prepared to go and have the spinal tap, and return to work the next day.

God then proceeded to LAUGH at me.

Mom, of course, volunteered to take the time off work and be right by my side through the entire thing. I told her that this involved checking into the hospital, getting a bracelet, and IVs. She took a breath and told me she was ready. I was completely unaware that she was freaking out on the inside. Well done, Momma Dukes! So, that said - she was an absolute CHAMP.

I checked in as an outpatient, got the bracelet, got the IV, and Mom sat right there and didn't bat an eye or shed a tear (on the outside). The procedure was quick, painless and I was clueless. I was on a 'sedative', but this girl was a Disney character for 11 years. Come on now. I clocked out and they woke me up when I was ready to walk out of the surgery center. Rock on.

Dr. Lustgarten (my surgeon) told me that I must lay on my back, flat, for a full 24 hours, to reproduce the spinal fluid, and to drink lots and lots of caffeine to keep the headache away. Me? Flat on my back, being lazy drinking chai tea? CAN DO. I followed his directions to the tee; smooth sailing the first few hours after I got home.

Until I got up to visit the restroom.

HOLYHEADPAINLIKEI'VENEVEREFELTBEFOREWHYISMYBRAININAVISCRIPTS?

Mom canceled all of her work plans for the next week and proceeded to stay by my side, without rest, without fail, for the next 7 days.

So then, there was the waiting.

Dr. Kobetz - my neurologist - told me the results would be back within a few days, but that he would be on vacation, so don't freak out if you don't hear from me for a week or so.

Oh. Okay. You go out and enjoy that boat. I'll be right here wondering if I have a debilitating disease. Take your time.

I say that in jest. Seriously, I honestly didn't believe anything was wrong and had done ZERO research on the possiblity of MS. AGAIN, why worry until there's something to worry about? It is an absolute waste of time and, check Matthew 6:12 Matthew 6:25-34 It's a sin (thanks, Melissa Murray for that!).

Saturday, June 6th at 10am, I was cleaning my kitchen countertop. My phone rang...and my life changed.

"Toma, I'm sorry to tell you, you have MS."

He went on and on about igg levels and mylen protein and thisiswhat'swrongwithyou number and that'snotsupposedtobethathigh number. I have no idea.

"Toma, you need to get a second opinion and begin treatment, if the MS specialist concurs with your diagnosis. Go and see. Dr. Silvia Delgado at the University of Miami. She's the best in the field."

Since 6 June 2009 the following statements are true:

• I have Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis.
• Betaseron is my drug of choice. I inject it every other night before bed. It was rough at first, and extremely difficult for about 90 days. Once my body got used to it, I don't even feel it in my system.
• I am no longer seeing Dr. Delgado. Since my Mom taught me "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'm going to leave that one alone.
  
• I've been introduced to the AMAZING staff at Sunrise Medical Group and am under the care of Dr. Brian Steingo. More specifically, I am cared for by Jenn Smrtka, Nurse Practicioner, specializing in MS. I adore her.
  
• MS is no longer Annette Funicello, confined to a wheelchair.
  
• MS is just an adjustment, not a sickness. I think this way, thanks to my 'face' of Multiple Sclerosis, Jessica Gagne. Since being diagnosed in 1999, Jessica has birthed 3 children and is a personal trainer, FOR A LIVING. Take that, MS.
  
• I was handed lemons, and I've made lemonade. I've now refocused my lens and plot my day in a 33/33/33 balance: eat, sleep, exercise. I've chosen a mostly-organic/non-processed diet called The Swank Diet, specifically written for people with MS. I sleep 8-10 hours a night and come home every day, for lunch, and take a 20-minute power nap. I attend spin class several days a week and swim when I get the time.
  
• I've never felt better in my life.
• I take NOTHING and NO MINUTE for granted.
  
• After 15 years living around the world, my friends (you) were my family. Now, I am (finally) geographically close to my family. And I can't spend ENOUGH time with them, since moving home. They come before any friendship. Period.
  
• I don't believe in chance or circumstance. Or luck.
• God isn't PUNISHING me with MS. He didn't make this happen because He's mad at me or because I'm a sinner. I am saved by grace...fearfully and wonderfully made. God has directed EVERY detail! Do you think it's ANY accident that, after living away from my family for nearly 15 years, I move home, and I'm diagnosed within 3 months? Huh? Do you? I could have been ANYWHERE; Korea...California...Hawaii...but I wasn't. I was home and God is SO GOOD.
  
• It's really no big deal.

To those of you reading this that have listened, counseled, researched, donated, called, emailed, sent flowers, sent cards, prayed and loved me.....I want to say 'thank you'. Seems to not even do justice to what I want to express to you. But at the same time, they are the two words I can never say enough. You are my heart, my soul...my insides and I love you all.

To Dr. Linda Fagan, her amazing nurse, Glenda Talley, and her daughter/office manager, Jessie, who I know are reading this. Thanks to you three, I now have a circle of friends that are not only close, geographically, but are close PHYSIOLOGICALLY, because they are just like me! You have opened your family, life and your home to me (and to them) and I want you to know that...in my world...friends AND family are one in the same. You three are the closest thing to blood in Homestead and I love you.

To my Homestead family; Rick, Kim & Arilys. Words could never express how much you all mean to me. You bring beautiful things into my life each and every day, and I just adore you all. Kim, even though the miles separate us, you're never far away.

To my Father & bonus Mom, thank you for the fervent, effective and unending prayer. You stand in the gap when I don't want to and Daddy, you always come to my rescue when I need you to come down for a week and tackle my 'Daddy Do' list. Shot out to Kathy for always willing to sweep my floors because you know I hate to.

To my Mother & bonus Dad - what is there to say to the two of you? Having you only 80 minutes away is nothing short of God's grace. It's Hurricane football season and nothing stops us from our tailgates and 10-yard-line seats at Dolphins Stadium! Mom, you ALWAYS...ALWAYS...do more for me than I could ever imagine doing for you. You bit the bullet, swallowed your panic and stood by me when I was the most afraid I've ever been in my life. And you continue to do that, every single day.

To my baby brother, Sebastian. You stick up for me every minute of every day. Don't ever stop doing that and continue striving for a life of authenticity. Thank you for being Kayla's Dad, so I could experience true, pure, unconditional love in my life. When you find the love of your life, you find that kind of love doesn't always have to come from a partner.

I want to close this by sharing a conversation I had, late one night, with my niece, Kayla. Most of you on Facebook see me bragging about her, daily. And for good reason! She's absolutely brilliant and challenges me, every day, to just...TRY HARDER and be an example to her and to others.

Shortly after I was diagnosed, I shared this with Kayla:

"So, Kayla - Tante has something to tell you. I have a condition called Multiple Sclerosis. I know you don't know what that is - and you will learn more about it as you get older and take health class in school. Basically, when I move my finger like this (pointer finger moving up and down), that is my brain telling my finger to move. The way that my brain gets the message to my finger is through something called 'nerves'. Multiple Sclerosis attacks those nerves, so I have to take a shot, every other night to make sure that my messages still get sent."

That was around lunchtime. We went on with our day, and enjoyed some quality time together. Later that night, as I was tucking her in and saying prayers, I kissed her goodnight and started to leave. Just before lights out she said:

"So, Tante. Your brain is like the post office and the nerves are the mailman. In order to get to the post office, you need a stamp, and that stamp is your shot, right?"

Like I said. She's brilliant.

And that's kind of a big deal.

Nothing to Do - and ALL DAY TO DO IT!

Just returned from 7 days of pure bliss; white sandy beaches, turquoise water and no commitments. No schedule.

Heaven.

I've been to St. John before, 2 1/2 years ago. This time was like coming home. I didn't have to spend time sightseeing and getting familiar. I knew where to find the deals on bottled water (Pine Peace Market). I knew where the best Happy Hour was (Woody's. Duh.). Although, it was difficult to stay awake past dark. "What do you mean you're going out? It's dark outside! It's bedtime!"

Best day, by far, was the day we took a charter boat and did some island-hopping in the British Virgin Islands (BVIs). First was Virgin Gorda. We did a 1 1/2 mile hike through The Baths then came out at Devil's Bay Beach. Quite possibly the bluest water and whitest beach I've seen in my life. Then, we traveled to Marina Cay, which is owned by Pussers Rum. Did a little snorkeling, then we made our way to Jost van Dyke - to....the always-faithful, Soggy Dollar Bar. Swim in, drink, swim out! Just an incredible day. There's nothing like island hopping and being in your swimsuit from (LITERALLY) 7 in the morning until 11 at night.

This time, we stayed in a timeshare-resale villa at the Westin. Heckuva deal for an entire week. The nice thing about the Westin was the amenities. The pool, the towels, the beach, etc. (vs. last time when we stayed in a private house).

It's Sunday night now - back to life. Back to reality. I'm refreshed, rejuvenated and READY to rock The Homestead Inn!

Tiff, Sandy, Lisa - thanks for an incredible week. Love you girls!!!





Toma's Favorite Song Today: Do you really need to ask?