If You Don't Play...STAY AWAY!

I want to go ahead and lay down the proverbial disclaimer before I post what I'm about to post. Some may be offended.

If you are, sorry. Don't read on any more.

If you're a woman - and you have a boyfriend or husband - and he's taking the day to go and play 18 holes (golf girls, GOLF), do not...under ANY circumstances...insist that you go along with him 'just to watch and support you!'


I work, part-time, at
Bayonet Black Horse (It's a golf course here in Monterey). I'm the beer cart girl! It's a fantastic second job; I meet so many great people, make decent tips and free golf!!

This weekend, BBH hosted the
Cadillac Invitational. Teams of golfers competed, very heavily, I might add, to be in this tournament. It was $5000 a head and all proceeds went to the National Kidney Foundation. Great cause, great reason, great tournament.

Because I work the beverage cart, I get the wonderful advantage of getting lotsa love from these golfers. Everyone was great this weekend, some of them flirty, some of them funny, some serious and some just happy to be in Monterey (they came from all over the U.S.). With tournaments, tips always tend to be generous, because the bar tabs are usually open. I mix up their libations (I make the best Bloody Mary - just ask any of 'em), tell them dirty jokes and have a good ole' time. As a result, I usually do well in the tip area.

Except when there's wives and girlfriends 'riding along'. And honestly, I'm not just writing this because the tips are less. I'm doing this one for the men.

Ladies - again - I can't stress this enough. Whenever you step up and tell your men, "Honey! I want to ride along to watch you!"...THEY ARE ROLLING THEIR EYES AND GROANING BEHIND YOUR BACK!!! Trust me, they don't want you there (unless you're playing). Take it from me, ladies - someone who sees it first hand - THE GOLF COURSE IS NO PLACE FOR WOMEN (unless you're playing).

You are in the way, and it just jacks up their golf-tunnel-vision-thing. Plain and simple, it's a distraction.

Golf is NOT a spectator sport (unless it's a great big, televised event like the
AT & T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am or the Doral Ryder Open ). Stay home and do girly things, then be excited to see him when he comes home, with a smile and a cold beer.

And if you're naked, that's always a plus.

As a caveat, I am a golfer and I am a woman. I realize just how blatantly hypocritical this is going to sound - but we women are some misers! Why would we buy a $2 bottle of Aquafina water, when we can stash our Nalgene bottles in our golf bag? Heaven forbid we pay the cart girl AND tip! Men, on the other hand, look forward to the pretty-haired hazel-eyed girl when she comes around. In fact, they're HAPPY to tip heavy just to have someone that thinks they're a kickass golfer.

Mars and Venus applies. Are you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?

I get it...and I hear it...and I understand it. Having this 2nd job at BBH has been such a wonderful wake-up call for me, when it comes to service and gratuity. Good service deserves a good tip. GREAT service deserves a GREAT tip. And folks, I won't lie...I bust my behind every week, and I always...always always ALWAYS give great service, because I know, in the long run, I benefit.

And great services means I can buy groceries and put it in my Kenny fund.

Speaking of Kenny - I can't believe I've slacked on this for so long - but I've got a big spring planned. If all the planets align, and the Army travel services smile upon me, it looks as if I'll be able to make opening weekend, Kenny Chesney, in Dayton, OH. It's a perfect way to kick off the spring for many reasons; First, I'll get to see Nana, Aunt P, Unc, BABs & Family and Bryan & Family. Second, it will be the very first time all of my Kenny Fan Club girls and I get to hang - ALL TOGETHER. This is the same group of gals that'll be joining me in the Caribbean - eventually. Anyway, finances are tight, but if I can swing it so that my trip to Norfolk (for work) has a layover in Dayton, that would be a HEAP of help! Say prayers, please! I love my Kenny and I adore my girls (Gretch, Rosalie &
LJ...I CAN'T WAIT!!) - it's time we had a meeting! FIGHT CLUB, UNITE!!!

The dreary weather has done ZERO for my mood today - this brings up your ghosts and forces you to reflect on sad corners in your mind. I HATE DAYS LIKE THIS. When days like this come - one can only head to the islands....here it is, kids!!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: Drift Away by Uncle Kracker