I'm Not a Member of Any Book Club

Two posts in one day. Quick! Take a look out your window! Pigs are flying! It's wayyy after midnight and I'm inspired.

I just had to return tonight to do an entry on reading. Now, as you may or may not know, I do not read. I love to talk...A LOT. I love to write...A LOT.

But read? Ummmm....no. I'd much rather be read ABOUT. Call me a narcissist.

A few months ago a very dear friend called me with some breaking news about a four-star Army General that was relieved from command because he was found being unfaithful to his wife. Anyway, it just so happens that this General is in my chain of command, and it was all over the news...but I was completely oblivious.

My friend simply couldn't believe that I hadn't heard about this. I don't read the paper, watch the news, or tune into current events. In the simplest of words, I am...(sigh) uninformed. Anyway, my friend says to me, "Toma! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS! Seriously? How can you not know?"

"Um, I don't."

"Toma, what periodicals do you subscribe to?" (No lie the man said 'periodicals'. What are we? In eighth grade with a card catalog?) Anyway...

I reply, "Well...um, I have a subscription to People and Country Music Weekly."

"So, a four-star General gets relieved from command, you have no idea. However, if Kenny Chesney has an ingrown toenail, you're all over it."

"What's your point?"

That's just me. I like to read what everyone else is doing, preferably pretty people. Sue me. I only read books when I'm on a plane or on a beach. I like mags because they're quick, they're gratifying and they keep me in check that my life really isn't that bad. I love it, especially when celebs lament about how "difficult" their lives are and how much they've "..sacrificed their privacy for their career."

BOO-FREAKING-HOO! Go cry in your big fat bag o' money!

But, I digress. Back to why I don't read books. For crying out loud, I'm a faithful Christian girl, but each time I sit down to do the 40 Days of Purpose from The Purpose Driven Life, my A.D.D. takes over and I never get past day 10. I just recently got it on CD, uploaded it to my iPod and listen to it every day. Ask me how far I've gotten. Go ahead, ask me!

Day five.

I'm pathetic. Thank heavens I'm saved by grace!

Which brings me to my post for tonight/this morning. I just read LJ's latest entry and it had a 'Which Book Are You?" quiz. Now, I never post quiz stuff here, but I always take LJ's and Rosalie's quizzes; just for gags. Anyway, as I took this quiz, I thought, "This oughtta be good. I just know my book will come up....like....'Cat in the Hat' or something like that." (Ya see? I'm witty with the rhyming...DIDN'T EVEN PLAN IT nor did I catch it until my proofread!)

Well, to my surprise, my book came up as this. And the only....THE ONLY....reason I am posting this quiz here is that it is SO SIMPATICO with me, it's scary (okay, I don't sleep with as many people as I can, but I love SO HUGE when I do love...but that's a whole 'nother post).

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff could get you killed.

Take the Book Quiz
at the
Blue Pyramid.

I'm going to make a trip to the library tomorrow. I have to study for a certification exam, anyway (Yikes...more reading! Don't even wind me up about THAT type of reading. Just insert my caffeine IV and call it a day), so I think I may check out this book.

I also like the old moth-ball-book-smell of libraries. Reminds me of the card catalog at Beaumont Middle School in Kissimmee.

As you were...