Remind me...

...if I ever move to England,

and I 'ring' you one day on the 'tele' and start speaking with a British accent...

that I'm originally from INDIANA.

Madge? Really.

You're from freaking MICHIGAN.

I am only 2 minutes and 56 seconds into this Oprah live-via-satellite interview...

and already I want someone to drop a safe on my head.

I won't go without saying this, though; I admire what she did for little Baby David - by giving him a home and a life he would have never had, had he stayted in Malawi. For that, good on ya.

But when I lived in Germany, Korea, Japan - did I start speaking with that country's accent? Okay, so they all speak a different language than me.

But still.

Do you think - if I suddenly pack it in and move to Mississippi, that I would just start talking all southern? Save for the occasional "Ya'all" or "fixin' to", I think not. Hi, Kathy! Hi Heather! Love my Southern belles!!

Yes, Madonna - your husband's a Brit.
Yes, you own a gazillion dollar house in England.

But you were brought up with Kid Rock and Eminem in Motor City, sister*.

Come on. Enough with the teabags.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Pretender" by Madonna (Like a Virgin - 1984)

*okay, Bay City - but still.