1. Women Who Remove Their Shoes at the Reception
You know who you are. Disgusting. If you choose to buy a new pair of shoes to wear to this wedding - BREAK THEM IN. If you choose to buy them on the way to the church, then shame on you. If you are a bridesmaid and have to wear new shoes and can't break them in before, or (like said just before) have to wear them 'day of' - take a long a spare pair of flip-flops or cute flats/sandals. The last wedding I was in, the shoes were 3" heels. No way could I be on those bad boys for 8+ hours. Because I try to maintain a modicum of class, I simply asked the bride, "Alicia? Once the wedding is over, and photos have been taken - would you mind if I switched into flip-flops?" And there were no issues. I wish I could tell the world - you know - like Daylight Savings Time was early this year? Yeah. WOMEN! DO NOT TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES AT THE RECEPTION! It's classless.
2. 8 Million Toasts
Best Man, Maid of Honor. Bada bing. Yes, your friends have many meaningful things to say - and want to do so, in public. That's so nice. Save it. Buy a big photo and have folks sign it on their way into/out of the reception. The last wedding I attended? Yeah. TWELVE TOASTS. I counted. TWELVE! And guess what? They all said the same thing. Seriously? I wanted to gouge my eyeballs out with my salad fork.
3. Dollar Dance
This is cheap and tacky. I can't even begin to tell you why. If you want money as presents, then don't register.
4. DJs that cannot understand there is NO NEED for Electric Slide, Chicken Dance or YMCA.
This needs no explanation.
5. The Last Seven
You know these people. They absolutely REFUSE to leave, even though the catering crew has cleared all dishes and removed all tablecloths and are, literally, standing by the door with their fingers on the light switch. These seven won't leave. Open bar. Don't make that mistake.
6. The Mother of the Groom
Much like #3 (without the cheap and tacky part - unless you're Eminem), there are no words. You know you're in trouble when every sentence starts with "I promise I'm not like every other Mother-of-the-Groom."
7. Creepy Uncle Sal
Hands OFF!!
8. Garter Toss
It's a little bit gross. And, if not positioned correctly, the groomsmen get a nice show.
Toma's Favorite Song Today: "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra